14 pounds of candy.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
10/13/2019 at 13:45 • Filed to: I hate everything, Except candy

For the record, I wanted to give out candy corn so that kids would never come back. Also, do kids like caramels anymore? I fucking loooooove caramel cubes... I got peanut butter cups and airheads again because those were by far the most popular ones we have out last year, much to my shock when I was giving out sour patch kids and swedish fish. So I switched it up with some Zotz.

We think we had 200 trick- or- treaters last year... My idea is to give out four+ pieces a kid, then shut down when the candy is gone. The kids who show up at a reasonable hour deserve extra credit for punctuality.

But next year... Candy corn and pumpkins [evil laugh]

DISCUSSION (19)

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/13/2019 at 14:04

Hot take - official brach's candy corn is delicious. It's the dollar store knockoff brands that taste awful.

facw > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/13/2019 at 14:06

I’m generous with the Halloween candy, I usually do:

- Full Sized Hersey bars (they are crap, but you’d think you just handed the kids a $100 bill from how they react)

- Peanut butter cups (I’m secretly hoping kids don’t take them so I can eat them all)

- Assorted fun size bars ( Snickers, Milky Way, Three Musketeers, etc.)

- Fun sized Starburst packets, for kids who don’t like or can’t have chocolate

I normally tell them they can take one full-sized bar, or 3 little ones (usually works out to about the same cost for me)

Helps that I’ve lived in places that don’t get a ton of tricker-treaters, it’s easier to be generous with few kids coming.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/13/2019 at 14:09

Man, we get less and less kids every year. 20 max.

Guess I will be eating lots of candy!

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever
10/13/2019 at 14:10

At my last house, we had zero kids for three years. ZERO IN THREE YEARS!

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/13/2019 at 14:21

Holy crap!

VincentMalamute-Kim > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/13/2019 at 14:22

That is a good number.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > VincentMalamute-Kim
10/13/2019 at 14:26

I agree — but I married a lady who disagrees

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/13/2019 at 14:31

As seen in photos...

Kinja'd!!!

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > SBA Thanks You For All The Fish
10/13/2019 at 14:33

Close, but smaller. T he house was about 886 square feet.

SBA Thanks You For All The Fish > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/13/2019 at 14:39

“The Camera Always Adds 4000 square feet” is the rule...

We lived in a rural (nice) neighborhood for awhile and I was always thrilled that the 5 acre lot sizes were a serious impediment to Saturation Bombing by T&Ters. They wisely concentrated on the ‘hoods with tiny tenth-acre lots in town, thus leaving us to rural, placid Halloween life.

Dogsatemypants > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/13/2019 at 15:32

Don’t forget the peanut butter taffy or whatever the hell that stuff is. It comes in orange and black wax paper with nothing printed on it.

Chariotoflove > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/13/2019 at 15:34

I love caramels, and I’m still a kid, ergo...

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/13/2019 at 15:53

I lived on THE trick-or-treating street for my town one year. It’s so busy that the police actually have to close it to cars for the duration. I didn’t keep count but we had to make two trips to the grocery store (luckily just two blocks away) and ended up going through $200 in candy.

My current resid enc e, only a quarter mile from there, gets no business because every single child in town goes to that one street.

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/13/2019 at 15:54

This year is my first year at my house for Halloween, and I’ll be home. But I live in an incredibly small town at the end of a dead end street, so I have no idea if I should have candy.

Realistically, I’ll buy some anyway, because a man’s got to eat, but still.

fintail > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/13/2019 at 16:10

One reason I like living in a secured building, one less thing to deal with. Unfortunately, everyone at work brings in their leftovers or the stuff they won’t let their micromanaged kids eat, so I still end up gorging a bit.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/14/2019 at 01:02

I had zero between three places for 8 continuous years. I bought candy (like big candy bars because I was young and thought of how awesome that would have been when I was a kid) and got no kids. One of these places was a suburban house, too. I did dig up some neighbors with grandchildren to hook up with the excess candy a couple years, but no visitors until I moved into a suburban place in Bellevue. My current neighborhood has more kids than that one, but fewer kids go trick-or-treating here... My parents get an epic number of kids compared to anywhere else I have lived.

I have yet to figure out the pattern. Apparently it’s a dying thing and being replaced by trunk or treat, with areas I lived in adopting it earlier than most of the country.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > fintail
10/14/2019 at 01:06

Gah. I remember those excess candy dumps. Considering the treat zones that are trying to make me fatter at work, I’m dreading the period after Halloween.

RPM esq. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
10/14/2019 at 15:57

At my old house, we had zero visitors in six Halloweens...probably because we were at the end of a dead-end street behind a tall fence and gate. I’m very curious to see how it goes this year, on an even less accessible (and steep) dead-end street but in a much more visible, welcoming house. I expect at least two (2) trick-or-treaters, as the family at the end of my dead-end street has two kids and would have to walk past my front door to go anywhere else.

SlideshowOhNO - Fixit Union, Chapter of Kinja > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever
10/15/2019 at 17:06

As a kid I remember a group of six of us would head out and encounter way more kids than there were in the neighborhood; likely doing exactly what we did and hitting all neighborhoods in walking distance.

As an adult, whom finds Halloween fun and looked forward to being the cool house? No one. Where we live now is pretty rural so that makes sense, but the last house was in a neighborhood with four other neighborhoods nearby and yet we never had trick or treaters . Oh well, less money on candy, more on car parts!